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Trending 4 Days Ago

‘Pornstar Go’ Now Exists And It’s Basically Exactly What You Think It Is

by Alfie Powell Follow @Alfie Powell
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What with it being 2016 and the internet being the quickest entity to react to anything ever, Pokémon Go has gained a lot of traction outside of the app itself.

Now consider that the internet is primarily used for getting yourself off. Just look at your favourites tabs. I bet there’s only three there and they’re helloU, my Facebook page and some porn site. Knew it.

So even porn wants to take advantage of the latest trends to stay cool. Seriously, type anything in a porn search bar and they’ll be a porn video for it. I typed in Angry Birds just now for some reason and, lo and behold, there was a video for me (that I didn’t watch)…

IMAGE/Pornhub

So there will DEFINITELY be something for Pokémon Go, right?

Right.

And just in case you didn’t get enough info from the video, brazzers accompanied it with a lovely and reserved description with a beautiful ending…

“While logging onto Brazzers mobile, Jordi El Niño Polla discovers that all the world’s premier pornstars have disappeared from the world’s best porn site! Jordi decides that he needs to catch them all and embarks on an adventure to seek out the hottest pornstars (Ella Hughes, Alexa Tomas, Patty Michova) and bring them back to Brazzers where they belong. By using the Pornstar GO app on his phone, Jordi will soon find out that Ella, Alexa and Patty don’t want to be caught-they’re just wild sluts looking to suck and f*ck some c*ck!“

I added in those asterisks, by the way.

If curiosity, boredom and loneliness get the better of you, you can watch the full 37 minute video on Brazzers right now if you want to. You’ll have to pay though… seriously who pays for porn?!

What do you think? Let us know in the comments!

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