Seven Shit TV Programs You Can’t Help But Love

Okay, let’s be honest here people - we all have our TV guilty pleasures, don’t try and act like all you use your TV for is fancy pants documentaries and high brow shows.

I’m willing to bet at least one of your guilty pleasures is on this list, so feel free to take some of the others as suggestions for when you need some TV to numb your brain cells.

Also, we’re calling these TV shows ‘shit’, but we mean it affectionately.

1. Take Me Out

Fronted by the iconic Paddy McGuinness, Take Me Out is kind of like a car crash you can’t take your eyes off of. A friend of mine was in the audience while they filmed one of the episodes, and explained that a lot of the girls crack jokes - and are then forced to say them again, and again, and again so that they can get good footage. Which possibly explains the slightly awkward vibe you get from the show.

It’s cheesy, often cringe worthy and pretty predictable - but that’s why we love it, right?

2. Millionaire Matchmaker

As with most things shown on TLC and ITVbe, Millionaire Matchmaker is the kind of thing you love to whack on when you’re chilling in pyjamas eating ice cream, but if anyone ever asked if you watched it you would pretend you had never ever heard of it. What kind of simpleton would watch a show like that?

The show is hosted by fiery Patti Stanger who is known for putting people in their place, straightening her hair a bit too much and matching up millionaires with attractive normal humans. There are 106 episodes for your lazy day viewing pleasure.

3. Dinner Date

Another predictable dating show, but the format just lends itself for such hilarity and awkwardness you can’t help but become entranced.

Basically, the main singleton on the show is given 5 menus to pick from. She or he ditches two, and picks three of the men/women based on what they plan on cooking. At least one of these people will have no idea how to cook their own menu, one will be getting someone else to cook it for them and another will make something completely different to what they said they would.

The singleton then has to go on three, often painfully awkward, dinner dates at random people’s houses and pick the one she/he hated the least. Then go on a date with that person. But I’m pretty sure no successful couple has ever come from this show.

4. Say Yes To The Dress

Let’s say, you’re off work sick and have hours to kill - but don’t want to invest too much brain energy into a proper TV show… in comes Say Yes To The Dress. Especially entertaining if you watch the older episodes, because who knew wedding dress fashion could change so quickly?

I know what you’re thinking, if you don’t watch the show you just think I’m one of those girls who’s been planning my wedding since I was 11 and love to watch TV all about weddings. Fortunately for me and everyone around me, that’s not the case, but I do love the family drama of American wedding dress shopping, being suitably shocked when a girl drops $5k on a really ugly dress, and of course passing judgement on their dress choices.

Oh, and for added entertainment trying to imitate the particularly thick american accents.

5. Love Island

The premise is awful, the people chosen to go on the island are also a little bit awful and the whole thing just does not seem like it would make for great viewing. But then it grabs you.

Somehow, you go from ‘shall we just watch the first episode?’ with your housemates, to waiting until everyone gets home each day to watch the next episode. There’s just something so entrancing about these humans put on an island for our entertainment and then messed with. The producers just fuck with the poor people at every opportunity and it’s beautiful.

And on top of that, there are actually couples who get together on the show that you can’t help but root for. But, of course if anyone mentions the show to you, you just stare blankly at them and say “what’s that?”

6. X Factor

Now, here’s a TV show that should have been cut years ago. But, despite being a very aged concept, the audition process of the X factor will always be shamefully entertaining. Trying to guess by the sob story if the contestant is going to be good or terrible, having a bit of a giggle at the terrible ones and getting embarrassingly emotional about the ones with a great sob story.

But, it ends with the auditions. Does anyone actually watch the rest of the show? Really?

7. Tattoo Fixers

It’s repetitive, clearly very scripted and not always that great - but it’s guaranteed to give you four fixes of hilarious tattoos, and then happy endings.

Because obviously we’re all adults, but someone with a cat tattooed on their vagina will always be a bit hilarious.

And, if you want to take it up a notch like my housemates and I do - try and guess what their tattoo will be when they’re giving the sob story behind it but not showing you it.

E.G.”I was on holiday with the lads” = ‘Maga’ tattooed on his buttcheek. Add alcohol and it gets even more entertaining.

There we have it, those are our top 7 terrible TV shows we can’t stop watching. What are yours? Let us know in the comments

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