15 Reasons Zoo Tycoon Was, And Still Is, The Greatest Game Ever
What was your favourite video game as a child? Mine, exclusive to the late 90s/early 2000’s (yes, I’m young) was a game called Dinosaur Adventure 3-D. I can’t really remember what I did in it but I do remember I’d have to get my dad to set it up on the family PC and that I spent most of it running away from a pissed off T-Rex. It looked like this…
After that, the next logical step was obviously Zoo Tycoon and, man, I got my money’s worth out of that game… maybe I should buy it again? No, I probably shouldn’t…
But what was so good about Zoo Tycoon? Well…
1. Naming things was a barrel of laughs
2. So much mileage
3. Honestly this could go on
4. And it will. You just know that, if people still played the game, every lion would be called Cecil and all the gorillas would be Harambe
5. Using these bad boys to get your way…
6. Getting up to twisted stuff like this
When I was little, I made a maze in Zoo Tycoon and then lured people in it and then trapped them there. Then I put lions and stuff in it.
— Daniel Silva (@danielsilva444) September 4, 2016
7. Pitting a load of animals against each other
8. Connecting emotionally with your animals
9. Giving your zookeepers the best jobs
10. Actually learning things. Like real things
11. Seeing how many animals you could get into one exhibit
12. Making beautiful scenery but having it totally ignored by idiot guests
13. Being sadistic and releasing lions because… lions
14. Having a bunch of moany guests to have to attend to
15. And then reading their ridiculously banal thoughts
Fine. I’ll do it.
I know what you’re thinking. “Alfie, did you just spend £11 on a gag? A sub-par one at that?” And the answer is yes. Yes I did. Thing is, you lot probably don’t even read the word bits of these articles, do you?! I can say what I want. The queen’s a lizard! Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams! Harambe was an inside job!
What do you think? Let us know in the comments!
Images courtesy of Microsoft Studios