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Trending 4 Days Ago

19 Totally Pointless Things You Can Waste Your Money On

by Alfie Powell Follow @Alfie Powell
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You know what I hate? At the end of the month when you get paid and then all this money just clutters up your bank account. It’s messy and I don’t want it in there.

Luckily there’s a way to get rid of it that results in me having actual clutter in my house which I much prefer for some reason…

Buying random sh*t.

1. Lightsaber Chopsticks

 

For the obvious reason… Jedi’s get hungry.

£15

2. Inception Totem

Ever wonder if you’re living in the real world or if it’s all just a figment of your imagination? Guess what? There’s a thing for that…

£2

3. James Bond Goldeneye Watch

On the Amazon page, they actually had to write “does not include super laser”…

£14

4. Gentleman’s Ball Scratcher

Wash after use.

£10

5. I Will Not Be Your Father Condom

Presumably, only the packet will have the joke so make sure your partner reads it before disposing of it for a little pre-sex giggle. With luck, that will be the only laughing point of the night…

£2 (for 3)

6. It’s Complicated Valentine’s Day Card

For when you’re sort of seeing someone but it’s not set in stone.

£3

7. Starburst Single Flavour One-Pound Bag

This is only worth buying as a gift if you get the flavour that your friend implicitly hates.

£6

8. Ninjabread Cookie Cutters

Get it? Rhymes with ginger. It’s funny.

£14

9. Invisible Blacklight Makeup

For when you want to look pedestrian except for the advent of UV lights being brought into the equation.

£20

10. Robot Aquatic Fish

Hate feeding fish but like the look (from a distance)? Robot fish.

£5

11. Temporary Tattoo Pen

For when you want to impress that group of hardy bikers outside the pub but don’t want the commitment.

£5

12. The Gift Of Nothing

It’s a joke.

£7

13. Rainbow Fire Packets

Like heat but hate orange? Get some of these bad boys in your life.

£3

14. Black Bottled Water

Because f*ck conventions, AMIRIGHT?!

£2 (per bottle)

15. Credit Card-Sized Tool Kit

I bought one of these because I was convinced I’d use it daily. I never have and I have zero ragrets.

£11

16. Batarang Knife

Murdering for nerds.

£8

17. Bottle Cap Gun

Seriously need one of these.

£7

18. Death Star Ice Mould

This will make any drink instantly cooler (in both ways) and you can say there’s a small moon in your drink and wait for someone to say the next bit!

£2(?!)

19. Black On Black Playing Cards

I mean… these aren’t even pointless. Every house needs a deck of cards and these are just wicked-cool.

£12

So there you have it. Some really pointless things that you can spend your money on that will make you instantly happier - albeit for about 2 hours and then the magic will wear off…

What do you think? Lets us know in the comments!

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