If You Want The Perfect First Date, You NEED To Follow These 5 Easy Steps

You probably know me as the guy who gets any girl he wants. People always ask me “Mr Sex-God Alfie, how do you do it? How do you manage the 100% success rate when dating?” And I always say the same thing…

It’s the same for guys and girls. Confidence DOES NOT matter. In fact, forget everything you’ve ever been told because, if you want to end your first date horizontally, you need only follow these five easy steps…

1. Do your research.

Make sure you don’t have to ask any questions. Tell them about themselves with authority and they’ll instantly respect AND fancy the bloody arse off you!

2. Laugh at everything they say.

People are insecure about how funny they are so be sure to laugh at ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING they say.

3. Vape.

Vaping is the epitome of cool.

4. Explain the faults in their gender.

If you’re a girl, make it clear that every man is shallow, sex-obsessed and sexist. If you’re a guy, let it be known that women only ever go for guys who treat them wrong. NICE GUYS FINISH LAST!

5. Talk about your ex.

This is important if you want to look sensitive. Also, crying over an ex makes sure that your date will try their hardest to out-do them. It’s a win win.

So that’s it.

Follow these steps and your date will GUARANTEED end in sex. And if you’re not into first date sex, sorry, you’ll have to do it. These steps are literally that effective.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments!