If You Love A Gin And Tonic Then You're A Psychopath, Says Science
It was only the other day that I was brutally murdering a room full of people that, afterwards, I sat down to enjoy a gin and tonic only to have my friend point out to me that that makes me a psychopath. It really put me in a foul mood.
I was in half a mind to do something horrible to him but then he backed it up with a load of scientific research that really put me in my place. In this research, conducted by researchers at Innsbruck University, Austria, they found that the preference for bitter tastes correlates to being sadistic, narcissistic and Machiavellian.
With this cocktail of traits, one is known to be, in general, pretty conniving, cold, selfish and deceitful. So basically not a good person… I really love gin and tonics – people used to buy me them as tips when I worked in a bar (yes, I finished every shift drunk).
In the research, over 1000 people were given various sweet, savoury, and sour foods to try and then were asked to rate them on a scale ranging from ‘dislike strongly’ to ‘like strongly’.
After that, they were given questionnaires to complete that measures their levels of sadism, narcissism, Machiavellianism and general emotional stability.
From this, they discovered that people who like bitter tasting foods are more likely to suffer from general psychopathy while “nice” people tend to react negatively to bitter tastes… the pricks.
The researchers in question are unsure why this seems to be the case but they speculate that it may be down to risk taking. The reason being that most poisonous things taste better by nature and those who are sadistic and the like have less qualms with the risks of consuming them.
Some kind of thrill of risk-taking, apparently.
You know what? I don’t care about the connotations. Gin and tonics are delicious are delicious and I love hurting people.
Now get out.