Harry Potter Fans Are Furious About The New Cursed Child Book

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As a child we’re misled into thinking that if you wish really, really hard for something – often by putting teeth you’ve lost under your pillow or whilst blowing out candles – that it might just come true. 

Well wake up kiddies because we all know the good stuff only comes to you if you’re either really rich or work really hard… actually no, just if you’re really rich.

But no matter how much casheesh you’ve got in your golden-lined pocket, it’s not going to convince J.K – dollar dollar bill y’all – Rowling to write a new Harry Potter book for you. That ship sailed as soon as she skipped out twenty odd years and plonked us all smack-bang in the middle of “why are my babies all grown-up’s” ville at the end of Deathly Hallows.

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Which is why I don’t understand why so many Potter fans are getting so angry after reading the Cursed Child, which by the way, has always been marketed as a play. Because it is one, like it’s being performed right now just round the corner from here in a matinee in front of a bunch of privileged children. As you can probably tell I’m jealous.

Also the script wasn’t even written entirely by J.K Rowling, it was a collaboration with playwright Jack Thorne. But despite the above, people somehow thought they were picking up Harry and co’s next set of Hogwart’s adventures. Move on people, move on.

Here’s a selection of some of the best one star reviews from the people of Amazon:

potter-5 potter-4 potter-3

potter-2 potter-one

“Day light robbery”, “poorly written fanfic”, “unbelivably bad”… If you’re one of the people who’s been queueing for hours for tickets, maybe it’s time you jump on your imaginary nimbus 2000, sit down with a fictional mug of butter beer and delve back into your battered copy of Prisoner of Azkaban.

It seems its the only way you’re ever going to get that Harry kick again. 

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